Manicure
by 2211Nighthawk
Summary: "What the hell are you doing?" Lennox asked in complete confusion. "Jazz needed to sharpen his claws after our sparing match, I broke one, and Sully decided to turn it into a 'spa day?" Prowl asked, turning toward the woman. "I'm still missing something." Lennox said with a groan. Another oneshot not to be taken seriously that wouldn't leave me alone.


**Back again on my parents wifi, and yes this is another plot bunny gone rabid. This was my idea, not my sisters but i guess i could dedicate it to her kinda because she is into nail teck. My apoligies its called Aesthetics. So i was kinda inspired by Zea T's Eye of The Beholder. That being said, while her's has a very serious tone to it, this is bordering on complete crack. Again, i cant focus for more then 5 minutes on anything.**

 **The good news, I'm almost done the next chapter of TMJ:A.**

 **But here's a oneshot instead. :D enjoy what comes out of my lack of focus brain.**

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Lennox didn't pay much attention as he walked into the Autobot's recroom, muttering under his breath as he read a clipboard. Galloway was coming that day and he needed the place in tip top shape. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and he paused before turning toward a table off in the corner.

Jazz and Prowl were sitting together at the table, staring at their hands. Lennox stared at them for a moment, wondering what the heck was going on when Jazz scowled abruptly, leaning back and pulling what looked like a giant nail file out of thin air.

"Frag Ah 'ate puttin' ah new edge on." He grumbled before setting to work filing his claws.

"Hey, wait till you snap one clean off. Not only is it annoying, it hurts like hell." A female voice spoke up and Lennox wandered closer to the table to see another, human sized table on top. One of the recruits, a woman named Sully was also sitting on the table top, the smell of nail polish remover heavy in the air.

"I will agree to that." Prowl said and Lennox turned to gape at him. "Mine are not as sturdy as Jazz's and it is a rather unpleasant experience."

"Tha's cause they ain't real!" Jazz cackled, jabbing the nail file at Prowl before leaning back with a cocky smirk, still filing his claws. "Wha's crackin' Lennox?"

Prowl shifted to glance down at the man as Sully stood to peer over the table edge at him.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked in complete confusion.

"Manicures." She said like it would explain everything.

"What?"

"Well a manicure is-" Sully started to explain with a grin as Jazz offered him a hand.

"I know what a manicure is, I have a wife and kid." Lennox cut in, enjoying the free ride to the table top and stepping off the silver mech's hand. "But what the hell are they doing?" he asked, jabbing a thumb at Prowl and Jazz.

"Jazz needed to sharpen his claws after our sparing match, I broke one, and Sully decided to turn it into a 'spa day'?" Prowl asked, glancing at Sully. The slim brunette nodded with a grin, collapsing back into her chair. Nail polish, remover, files and Q-tips littered the table top.

"I'm still missing something." Lennox said with a groan as Sully started filing her own nails. "Since when do robots, no offence, need to worry about their nails?"

"Claws require maintenance just like any other part of our frame." Prowl replied easily. "But there are different types of claws, or talons for seekers, as well."

"You're kidding me." Lennox said in disbelief, staring at the black and white mech.

"Nope. See, Prowl don't 'ave real claws. Not like meh." Jazz pipe up, waving his file toward the Praxian. "Ratch's talked 'bout our self-repair?"

"A little yeah. Works a little like our bodies, at least, that's how he explained it." Lennox said.

"Nanites in our frames rebuild tah lost metal." Jazz continued. "If ah mech 'as claws like meh, they often 'ave another string o' codin' tha' tah nanites will keep rebuildin' tah claw edge. Then ya just 'ave tah file it intah shape. Ah 'avent fo' ah long tahm so they're gettin' too long."

Jazz set his hand down on the table, palm up and Lennox finally paid attention to those wicked sharp curved claws.

"Ah just finished this servo." Jazz said, laying his other hand down on the table. The edges of his fingers were badly scuffed from the file but the inner curve of his claws gleamed the silver of raw metal before coming to a razor sharp point Lennox knew were more than capable of punching though a mech's armor.

"So what do you have then?" Lennox asked, turning to Prowl. "I didn't even know you had claws."

"I didn't have true claws. They're an added upgrade I got when I was still an Enforcer in Praxus." Prowl said, showing off his own hand. His fingers were longer and slimmer then Jazz's but they were nowhere near sharp. Abruptly, near invisible panels on the side of his fingers shot up to form a razor sharp point.

"As they are not true claws, they don't have a leading edge, just a sharp point." Prowl continued causally. "I rarely used them but they have saved my life a few times. But because they are an added upgrade, they are weaker and are prone to breaking. Then I just divert the nanites with some coding and they will rebuild the tips."

"Then sharpen." Lennox said, nodding his helm in somewhat understanding. "You guys are pretty tough, what'd you break a nail on?"

"His helm." Prowl said, shooting Jazz a dark look. The silver mech grinned in reply and Lennox's eyes got bigger. "And before you ask, we've both broken claws on each other many times before. Few mechs are able to last even a few minutes against us so we've often ended up sparing together if we want it to last for more than ten minutes."

"Ya nearly snapped mah whole servo off, tha' don't count." Jazz grumbled.

"The twins have claws, what kind are they?" Lennox asked as Jazz continued to pout.

"They have seeker talons." Prowl said with a scowl. "Illegal on grounders like us but there's nothing that can be done about it now."

"Eh Twins!" Jazz yelled suddenly, waving an arm in the air as the red and yellow mechs walked into the room at that moment. "Come 'ere fo' a klick."

"Whatever you think I did, it wasn't me." Sideswipe said instinctively, eyeing Prowl.

"You didn't do anything this time." Prowl said. "Lennox was curious about our claws."

The twins exchanged confused looks before refocusing on the human.

"You're what?" Sunstreaker asked in confusion.

"Oh for crying out loud." Lennox muttered.

"He wants to see what kind of claws you have." Sully piped up. Exchanging confused looks again, Sideswipe shrugged before taking a step closer and setting his hand on the table, palm up.

"See, 'is claws extend down tah teh first joint." Jazz said, poking Sideswipe's finger. "An, half way down tah back."

"So there's two leading edges." Lennox clarified as Sideswipe turned his hand over to show off the other razor sharp edge.

"Yep. Very handy in a fight." Sideswipe said with a feral grin. "And nobody wants to shake your hand."

"I don't doubt it." Lennox said with a shudder. The two frontliners were already vicious, he didn't need to know what they could do with those blade like claws.

"All weh needed, thanks mechs." Jazz said with a grin. Still with a slightly confused look on their faces, the twins turned and walked off.

"And what's your excuse?" Lennox asked sarcastically, turning to Sully. She glanced up from applying a layer of pink to her finger nails.

"Dude, how many people get to say they had a manicure with giant robots from space?" She said, managing to keep a straight face. Lennox stared at her before shaking his helm.

"I'd tell my wife but she would never believe me." He said with a sigh, stiffening as the smell of paint reached him. Turning he saw Prowl stick a small paintbrush into a container of white paint and start painting his fingertips.

"Yeah, she'd think I'm losing what little sanity I have left." He said, shaking his head again as he headed back to the table edge.

"I can paint your fingers nice and pretty if you want!" Sully called as Jazz lowered him back to the floor.

"I think I'm ok!" He called back, glancing behind him just in time to see Jazz open his own container of paint. Shaking his head again in disbelieve, he walked out of the recroom only to jump when a strong hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Where have you been, Galloway's just about here." Epps said, the black man walking beside him toward the offices. "And where's Prowl, Cam's got a bunch of reports for him."

"He's in the middle of a manicure." Lennox said with a sigh. Epps stopped dead in his tracks staring at the man like he had grown another head.

"He's what?!" He demanded.

"Jazz, Prowl and Sully are doing manicures." Lennox said simply before shrugging. "Prowl broke a nail, Jazz's were getting too long, and Sully's painting her's pink."

"Man, you've hit your head one too many times." Epps said, finally following the other solider.

"Yes. Yes I have." Lennox said with a sigh, visibly slumping. "Robots and manicures, what's next?"

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 **one of those stupid train of thoughts i get, then can't** **get rid of. Robots sharpening their claws. It is such a good thing i don't drink coffee or you might end up with a wack load of other stuff like this.**

 **Anyways, see you all next time!**

 **Read and Review!**


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